i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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