I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
