the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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