Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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