why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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