Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
