just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
worst night to have a conscience
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
