I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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