I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize