we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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