he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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