Kiss
Puke
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Randomize
