so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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