Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize