Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im holly from the hills drunk
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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