long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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