I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
