Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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