Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
As shirtless as possible
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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