Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize