Pappa wants mamma naked
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
