I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
