She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
