I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
