I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
try to milk me bitch
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
