The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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