The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
