i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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