I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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