evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
