Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You left your underwear on the fireplace
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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