i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize