dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
