my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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