I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
