im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
