If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
