Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize