it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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