dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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