are you still at the devil's house?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
