I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
