You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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