if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
BRING THE BAGELS
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
