One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
