There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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