i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
