u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
