He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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