I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
