My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize