ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
