Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
