i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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