Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
