Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
